Falling in love with an engaged woman is not disgraceful (Part 1)

(Part 1)

Welcome to the 21^st century where every beautiful girl that you fall for in Pakistan is either engaged or en route to engagement. To further add to the misery, we are carrying a heart in our chests that is impossible to tame. This wild organ refuses to acknowledge the fact that the heavenly creature in front of you is engaged, which translates into “already booked in advance” and therefore off limits.

While the status quo regards engagement as a sacred bond between a man and woman who plan on getting married soon, the heart sees it for what it really is: nonsense. The pseudo intellectuals may try to come up with various explanations and justification for the concept of engagement, which may range from allowing the future husband and wife to get to know each other better, to giving both the parties an ample time to make preparations for the wedding. However, these “brainiacs” conveniently overlook the fact that this formal promise to marry has absolutely no legal standing in the Islamic or Pakistani law.

Just wearing a gold ring doesn’t make a woman any man’s property. Until the man and woman sign the contract of marriage, it does not make sense to condemn another man for falling in love with the latter and pursuing her. If this man was falling for someone’s wife, then the deed would have been surely something disgraceful. However, falling for a woman who is simply engaged to another man cannot be looked in the same light.

Our Holy Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) has stated it quite clearly that if you really love someone, then get married to that person. The idea of allowing a man to tag a woman as his possession prior to signing the contract of marriage eludes logic. If the two really plan on getting married, then sign the contract. Otherwise, keep treating each other as “na-mehrams” are supposed to treat each other. How on earth is going out on dates, talking and exchanging romantic messages on cell-phones acceptable after engagement? How is it any different than the frowned-upon girlfriend-boyfriend relation?

 There are many who have decided to take a stand against the culture of treating an engaged couple as a married one. These people find no valid reason to suppress their feelings towards a woman and live an empty life just because she is engaged to some man who probably does not even deserve her. What is going on during this engagement process? Is the man is really sincere to his fiancée’ and concentrating on laying down the foundation of a better future for his wife-to-be? Or is he simply going around hitting on random girls and searching for a better companion than the one bound to him through a ring?

                                                                             – Continued in Part 2 –

Short URL: https://www.newspakistan.pk/?p=1637

Posted by Muhammad Qasim Hassan on Oct 26 2011. Filed under Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry