You hate her, yet you cannot stop thinking about her

You hate her, yet you cannot stop thinking about her

It is so weird to find yourself going around telling people that you have begun to hate a certain someone from the core of your heart, while forgetting to take one extremely important person into confidence about this latest update; your own self.  You were
too busy convincing others that you loathe a person whom you claimed to  be madly in love with not too long ago that you completely ignored your own heart and failed to notice that every time that person came in sight, your heart skipped a beat.

Everything was going smooth for you and your beloved, before she did something that you least expected off her. You had way more regard for her pious nature than her pretty face and thus were deeply disappointed to find her different from how you had expected
her to be.

For some reason, you forgot that making mistakes is one of the biggest characteristic of a human being and even someone like Prophet Adam (PBUH) ended up succumbing to the evil whispers of the devil in Paradise and taking a bite from an apple of a tree that
was forbidden to him by God.

To have unrealistic expectations from a person is bound to bring you disappointments as nobody is capable of being perfect. It is the beauty of love that a person learns to overlook the flaws of his beloved and accepts her for what she is; a human, not an
angel. Love is supposed to be unconditional and should be capable of withstanding any force regardless of its intensity.

While living under the impression that the feeling of love for a certain someone has been replaced by hatred due to a small mistake, it is not your conscience that slaps some sense into you. Instead, you find yourself receiving help and guidance in through
a series of dreams. During these dreams, you either saw that certain someone holding on to your arm and refusing to let it go with the intended motivation of making you stay, or found that person saying her prayers and passing a lovely smile to you afterwards,
consequently filling you up with warmth.

No matter how much you try to convince others that you are no longer in love with that certain someone, the truth is that you still haven’t been able to pull that person out of your heart or your mind. Even if the sad reality of her being already engaged
to another man, who happens to serve in the army as a captain, and her wedding, which is scheduled to take place in a couple of months, is making its extremely hard for you to breathe and making you extremely emotionally vulnerable, you still have not been
able to believe in your own lies. You may feel betrayed and disappointed by her actions and decisions, but it still does not justify your feelings of hatred towards her. You find it a part of your destiny to love her despite everything and hold on to a thin
strand of hope that still exists.

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Posted by Muhammad Qasim Hassan on Dec 2 2011. Filed under Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry