Tale of a single wicket match between Imran Khan and Nawaz Sharif

Hello! Good morning. Welcome to Gaddafi Stadium, Lahore where Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf Chief, Imaran Khan, and Pakistan Muslim League (N) Head, Nawaz Sharif, are going to play a single wicket game in order to determine who is more eligible for leading Pakistan
in future.

It is a cold foggy morning of December 20. The whole stadium is packed with cricket cum politics loving spectators who are waving flags to support their respective player. You can witness a long queue of fans outside the venue waiting for tickets.

Oppsssssss Audiences, you will have to wait for at least 30 minutes more as some problem as occurred in the dressing room. According to reports, Nawaz is unable to fit a helmet on his head as the suitable size is not available. On the other hand, Imran has
lost his Naswar packet and desperately searching for it.

Till the duo gets ready, I would like to share some important information with you. The 59-year-old Khan has played 88 Test and 175 ODI matches so far while the 61-year-old Sharif’s record is marvellous. No player has ever made such a tremendous achievement.
You will be stunned to know. Hold your hearts and listen. Nawaz has 1 run in 1 First-Class match to his credit. How great!

Your wait has ended. Both the players are in the ground. Qazi Hussain Ahmed is here to administer toss. And the toss is done. Nawaz has won the toss and elected to bat first. The on-field umpires include Sheikh Rasheed Ahmad and Perviez Musharaf while Altaf
Bhai is match referee. Just 2 minutes to go for action.

Break news: Shahbaz Sharif has flown to Saudi Arabia to pray for his brother’s success. Asif Ali Zardari has broken his drawing room’s expensive TV set as he is averse to watch the game while Babar Awan has swallowed at least 10 sleeping
pills. How funny!

The action is on. Nawaz is on strike. In place of helmet, he is wearing the Punjabi turban. Khan is rubbing the ball over his thighs to generate bounces.

First Ball: Khan pitches at the off stumps, Nawaz steps forward to hit, and what a huge six this is, the ball has fallen on the roof of Raiwind Farm House.

Breaking News: The match referee announces to make coalition with PML (N).

Second Ball: Khan throws a Yorker, Nawaz moves the bat blindly, look and behold the ball is in the courtyard of CM house.

Breaking News: Zardari goes to market to purchase a new TV set.

Third Ball: Khan pitches at mid wicket, what a bounce, ball is outside the boundary line along with Nawaz’s turban.

Breaking News: Zulfiqar Ali Bhutoo is laughing in his grave.

Fourth Ball: Khan again pitches at mid wicket, oh bounce baby, two teeth of Nawaz are lying on the pitch.

Breaking News: America announce an aid package worth of 3$ million for Nawaz’s treatment.

Oh what is this? Nawaz is walking towards Khan, reaches near him, his eyes are tearful and mouth is bloody. The whole stadium is tight-lipped. What is happening? Nawaz is apologising the nation over the injustice and oppressing his party has perpetrated
on the poor Pakistanis so far. He reiterates to be a good and honest politician. Khan is moved by this emotional appeal and both the leaders announce to form a coalition government after the next elections.

Breaking News: The match referee has flown to UK without notice and Zardari is in ICU. Awan is not likely to wake up again.

Thanks for your arrival. Good evening.

Disclaimer: This is a satire or spoof which I have written on the basis on the recent media statements of both Imran Khan and Nawaz Sharif.

Short URL: https://www.newspakistan.pk/?p=6692

Posted by Sharjeel Ahmad on Dec 20 2011. Filed under Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry